You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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