its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
