How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
