so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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