I heard we made out
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
