my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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