Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude i'm inner monologue high
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
