The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
