Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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