Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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