I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
