sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
