There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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