how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
