filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
