If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He has the fingertips of a God
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