I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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