At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
