Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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