Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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