Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
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Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
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My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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