she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I want a musical about memes.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
