your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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