Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
