I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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