Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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