I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
