Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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