I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
