Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
