I can text with my tongue
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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