my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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