I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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