So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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