Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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