Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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