maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
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Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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