Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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