About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall