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• (310): View more from California

  This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.

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• (716): View more from New York

  He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (949): View more from California

  He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...

  (425): View more from Washington

  The subtweets were good enough

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Are you 5:30 blackout again?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN

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• (425): View more from Washington

  So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy

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