So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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