Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just threw up on my dentist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I just threw up on my dentist http://tfl.nu/4tee
  Replies (20) Good night (886) Bad night (3203)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public http://tfl.nu/6cpw
  Replies (15) Good night (768) Bad night (3628)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime. http://tfl.nu/9cqb
  Replies (18) Good night (703) Bad night (5366)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles http://tfl.nu/47mn
  Replies (16) Good night (5253) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it. http://tfl.nu/8v3x
  Replies (5) Good night (4074) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel http://tfl.nu/4p3k
  Replies (6) Good night (2984) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder? http://tfl.nu/3p5i
  Replies (4) Good night (3024) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him http://tfl.nu/vcwf
  Replies (9) Good night (771) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/bc5t
  Replies (14) Good night (1614) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges. http://tfl.nu/t5l6
  Replies (6) Good night (1639) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce http://tfl.nu/7uec
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month. http://tfl.nu/wxst
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home. http://tfl.nu/rwle
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home? http://tfl.nu/x6vd
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.

  (1-952): View more from Minnesota

  The tryst?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst. (1-952): The tryst? (952): The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity. http://tfl.nu/9sse
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (151)

Randomize