And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
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this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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