She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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