I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.