this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
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Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.