Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina