If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize