i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.