If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.