I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere