is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
