somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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