How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
