Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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