I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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