I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
