my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
