No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
