I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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