When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize