And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
