My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
