I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
