she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
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We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
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Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.