I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
