I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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