The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
