I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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