The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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