there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
