twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
