Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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