You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
